On Time

Just what exactly does it mean to be on time? If a wedding invitation states the wedding starts at 4, what time should you be there? If you were born in my family you would be there at 3:45. If you were born into my husband's family you would be there sometime around 5,maybe 6. Being on time is a matter of perspective. I know it can seem like Mexicans are down right rude to some Americans but you must understand that its all in one's priorities. Americans are focused on the future, Mexicans are focused on the present. Americans think it's rude to be late to a meeting with someone but Mexicans think it's rude to leave the person your with too soon. I've been late all my American life. So I've found my Mexican life to suit me perfectly.
So when to arrive for a wedding in Mexico? Everyone (meaning all Mexicans) know that 4 does not actually mean 4. 4 means sometime in the late afternoon/evening. In fact 4:59 is still in the hour of 4.
My husband and I attended his best friends wedding last year in Mexico. The night before we were to be at the rehearsal at 7 pm. Having learned a thing or two in the last few years I knew that didn't actually mean I needed to be at the church at 7. So my sister-in-law and I were shopping when I got a phone call around 7 from my slightly anxious husband asking our whereabouts. (It occurs to me that while I'm becoming Mexican perhaps he's becoming American . Before living in the US, I doubt he would have even noticed the time and that I might actually be late for said time) We'll come back soon I said, knowing full well that we didn't need to be there yet. We got there around 8:45 right as everyone else started to arrive. Perfect timing I thought!
So on to the wedding day. I think the wedding was supposed to start (again according to the invitation) around 4. I wonder if Mexico ran smoother before the invention of invitations? Putting an arbitrary time down on an invitation hasn't changed when things start. I'll have to write an entire post about invitations sometime. There's a lot more than meets the eye (besides the gaudy flowers).
So I arrive with the Bride to the church about 3:45. We quickly whisk her away into a secret room. The groom on the other hand (also early) stays outside greeting guests. The bride sends me into the sanctuary to check on the head count. Back in her secret room she asks, "so who's here?"
"Los Gringos" I say.
We fix her dress, her veil, and take some pictures. She sends me back out to check on things, it's now 4:30. More guests have arrived and some of the grooms family as well. I check in with the groom, take some more pictures (I'm the official photographer too), and head back to the bride's room.
"Who's here?" She asks
"Los Gringos." I tell her.
The flower girls arrive. More primping, pictures, etc. and I'm sent back out to check on the status. It's now nearing 5 pm.
"Mi familia?" the Bride asks.
"Not yet, but the Gringos are here."
"I can't start without my parents" she says, annoyed. "Where are they?"
This might be a good point to interrupt the story to tell you that when the bride's sister got married to a Gringo a few years earlier a similar scenario played out. The groom's entire family and friends were sitting and waiting 15 minutes prior to the start of the stated invitation time, the good Americans that they were. Two to three hours later when the bride's parents still hadn't shown up a friend drove out to the house to see what the problem was. He found her father in his skivies watching TV. The friend quickly ushered the mother and father to get ready and into the car. The wedding finally started several hours after stated invitation time.
So you can see my friends obvious annoyance for her missing parents. Just when we were about to send out the recon team for the missing parents they arrived.

The wedding started. I juggled my multiple duties as photographer, ring bearer (an entire other post will have to be dedicated to weddings), unofficial bride's maid and wedding guest the best I could. I noticed when we processed into the church that half the seats were empty, yet as we processed out it was standing room only. The Mexicans had finally arrived!