On Telenovelas

So I'm pretty sure the Oscars were on last night. But in my house it was the finale of "En el Nombre del Amor."
If you've never seen a Telenovela, change the channel to Telemundo or Univison between the hours of 5-8pm and you are bound to find one. Don't worry if you don't speak Spanish, you don't need to. Just know the basics of a Telenovela and you'll be an aficionado in no time.
Telenovelas literally translated is "a novel of the TV." It is not, I repeat, not a Soap Opera. Soap Operas are on during the day and the same shows have been running since, well... before I was born with the same old (and I really mean old) actors. Telenovelas on the other hand are more like long mini-series. They run an average of 3-4 months, Monday-Friday. The same episode can air up to 3 times a night, at 5, 6 and 7. Just in case you missed it the first two runs you can be sure to catch it at some point that night. (Interestingly, it makes it easy to watch what I want around my house, because the telenovela will be on again the next hour.)
There are 3 main ingredients to any good telenovela;
1. A rich and handsome character
2. The poor, angelic and equally beautiful women who is in love with the rich man
3. and the evil villain who seeks to keep them apart whether out of jealous or a desire to maintain the status quo for 120 episodes
Their are famous telenovela actors and actresses; Pedro Fernandez, Itati Cantoral, Araceli Arambula and Eduardo Yanes. No matter what happens, or how implausible the scenario the series would have to end if one of them were to be killed off. So even if a women falls from the top of a cathedral after being shot, she will live. (This was the case with last nights finale of "En el Nombre del Amor")
Far fetched and overly dramatic themes are the keys to a convincing telenovela and the acting follows suit. Gestures are big, crying is loud and emotions are evident.
The music cannot be forgotten either. Each scene is backed by a dramatic mood setting score. Each telenovela has it's own theme song which shows up over and over again throughout the show, not just at the beginning. The catchy little tunes ("Hasta que el dinero no separe" my husbands sings as I write) gets stuck in your head. A handy little reminder as you go about your day not to forget to watch that night. Although if you do it's not that big of a deal because it will be on again in an hour!
All the drama makes these shows popular the world over. I used to work with refugees from all over the world. I can't tell you the number of times I would go to visit someone and find them watching a telenovela. Russians, Iraqis, Liberians, Afghans, none of whom spoke any Spanish. But it didn't matter. The themes, drama and beautiful people make them universally understandable and popular. Whenever I would mention to any of the refugees that watching a Spanish television program was not going to help their English they would shrug and say "Don't I need to know Spanish in the US as well?" Touche I say!
So although I live in a house of telenovela fans (even my husband, although I'm not sure he will admit it) I have yet to get sucked in. I'll stick to Gray's Anatomy and Bones, there's enough Drama in those for me. I can get all the funny highlights I need from the Soup anyway!
PS. On a side note, Why are Spanish television stations louder than English ones? If you don't believe me start flipping though channels and notice how quickly you want to reach for your volume button when you flip to telemundo. I don't understand, any ideas?