On Time

Just what exactly does it mean to be on time? If a wedding invitation states the wedding starts at 4, what time should you be there? If you were born in my family you would be there at 3:45. If you were born into my husband's family you would be there sometime around 5,maybe 6. Being on time is a matter of perspective. I know it can seem like Mexicans are down right rude to some Americans but you must understand that its all in one's priorities. Americans are focused on the future, Mexicans are focused on the present. Americans think it's rude to be late to a meeting with someone but Mexicans think it's rude to leave the person your with too soon. I've been late all my American life. So I've found my Mexican life to suit me perfectly.
So when to arrive for a wedding in Mexico? Everyone (meaning all Mexicans) know that 4 does not actually mean 4. 4 means sometime in the late afternoon/evening. In fact 4:59 is still in the hour of 4.
My husband and I attended his best friends wedding last year in Mexico. The night before we were to be at the rehearsal at 7 pm. Having learned a thing or two in the last few years I knew that didn't actually mean I needed to be at the church at 7. So my sister-in-law and I were shopping when I got a phone call around 7 from my slightly anxious husband asking our whereabouts. (It occurs to me that while I'm becoming Mexican perhaps he's becoming American . Before living in the US, I doubt he would have even noticed the time and that I might actually be late for said time) We'll come back soon I said, knowing full well that we didn't need to be there yet. We got there around 8:45 right as everyone else started to arrive. Perfect timing I thought!
So on to the wedding day. I think the wedding was supposed to start (again according to the invitation) around 4. I wonder if Mexico ran smoother before the invention of invitations? Putting an arbitrary time down on an invitation hasn't changed when things start. I'll have to write an entire post about invitations sometime. There's a lot more than meets the eye (besides the gaudy flowers).
So I arrive with the Bride to the church about 3:45. We quickly whisk her away into a secret room. The groom on the other hand (also early) stays outside greeting guests. The bride sends me into the sanctuary to check on the head count. Back in her secret room she asks, "so who's here?"
"Los Gringos" I say.
We fix her dress, her veil, and take some pictures. She sends me back out to check on things, it's now 4:30. More guests have arrived and some of the grooms family as well. I check in with the groom, take some more pictures (I'm the official photographer too), and head back to the bride's room.
"Who's here?" She asks
"Los Gringos." I tell her.
The flower girls arrive. More primping, pictures, etc. and I'm sent back out to check on the status. It's now nearing 5 pm.
"Mi familia?" the Bride asks.
"Not yet, but the Gringos are here."
"I can't start without my parents" she says, annoyed. "Where are they?"
This might be a good point to interrupt the story to tell you that when the bride's sister got married to a Gringo a few years earlier a similar scenario played out. The groom's entire family and friends were sitting and waiting 15 minutes prior to the start of the stated invitation time, the good Americans that they were. Two to three hours later when the bride's parents still hadn't shown up a friend drove out to the house to see what the problem was. He found her father in his skivies watching TV. The friend quickly ushered the mother and father to get ready and into the car. The wedding finally started several hours after stated invitation time.
So you can see my friends obvious annoyance for her missing parents. Just when we were about to send out the recon team for the missing parents they arrived.

The wedding started. I juggled my multiple duties as photographer, ring bearer (an entire other post will have to be dedicated to weddings), unofficial bride's maid and wedding guest the best I could. I noticed when we processed into the church that half the seats were empty, yet as we processed out it was standing room only. The Mexicans had finally arrived!

On Telenovelas

So I'm pretty sure the Oscars were on last night. But in my house it was the finale of "En el Nombre del Amor."
If you've never seen a Telenovela, change the channel to Telemundo or Univison between the hours of 5-8pm and you are bound to find one. Don't worry if you don't speak Spanish, you don't need to. Just know the basics of a Telenovela and you'll be an aficionado in no time.
Telenovelas literally translated is "a novel of the TV." It is not, I repeat, not a Soap Opera. Soap Operas are on during the day and the same shows have been running since, well... before I was born with the same old (and I really mean old) actors. Telenovelas on the other hand are more like long mini-series. They run an average of 3-4 months, Monday-Friday. The same episode can air up to 3 times a night, at 5, 6 and 7. Just in case you missed it the first two runs you can be sure to catch it at some point that night. (Interestingly, it makes it easy to watch what I want around my house, because the telenovela will be on again the next hour.)
There are 3 main ingredients to any good telenovela;
1. A rich and handsome character
2. The poor, angelic and equally beautiful women who is in love with the rich man
3. and the evil villain who seeks to keep them apart whether out of jealous or a desire to maintain the status quo for 120 episodes
Their are famous telenovela actors and actresses; Pedro Fernandez, Itati Cantoral, Araceli Arambula and Eduardo Yanes. No matter what happens, or how implausible the scenario the series would have to end if one of them were to be killed off. So even if a women falls from the top of a cathedral after being shot, she will live. (This was the case with last nights finale of "En el Nombre del Amor")
Far fetched and overly dramatic themes are the keys to a convincing telenovela and the acting follows suit. Gestures are big, crying is loud and emotions are evident.
The music cannot be forgotten either. Each scene is backed by a dramatic mood setting score. Each telenovela has it's own theme song which shows up over and over again throughout the show, not just at the beginning. The catchy little tunes ("Hasta que el dinero no separe" my husbands sings as I write) gets stuck in your head. A handy little reminder as you go about your day not to forget to watch that night. Although if you do it's not that big of a deal because it will be on again in an hour!
All the drama makes these shows popular the world over. I used to work with refugees from all over the world. I can't tell you the number of times I would go to visit someone and find them watching a telenovela. Russians, Iraqis, Liberians, Afghans, none of whom spoke any Spanish. But it didn't matter. The themes, drama and beautiful people make them universally understandable and popular. Whenever I would mention to any of the refugees that watching a Spanish television program was not going to help their English they would shrug and say "Don't I need to know Spanish in the US as well?" Touche I say!
So although I live in a house of telenovela fans (even my husband, although I'm not sure he will admit it) I have yet to get sucked in. I'll stick to Gray's Anatomy and Bones, there's enough Drama in those for me. I can get all the funny highlights I need from the Soup anyway!
PS. On a side note, Why are Spanish television stations louder than English ones? If you don't believe me start flipping though channels and notice how quickly you want to reach for your volume button when you flip to telemundo. I don't understand, any ideas?

Introduction

I grew up in a middle-class white American family. My father's ancestry hails from Sweden, Belgium and other very white countries, my mother's from Ireland. We microwaved butter and cinnamon on our tortillas bought at King Soopers. The only spice in the cabinet was black pepper and even that was often considered too spicy for my mom. My Dad knew about three words in Spanish, margarita, hola and gracias (pronounced grass-e-ass). Christmas dinner was turkey, stuffing, mash potatoes and cranberry sauce. Being late was offensive. Things were neat and orderly. Vacation plans were made on excel spreadsheets (OK my Dad was an engineer so this might be atypical)
Somewhere during this pleasant and predictable upbringing I met the love of my life and for the last 5 years I've been transforming into a Gringa with a Mexican heart.
The other day I drove up to my house to find my father-in-law's car on our lawn. I laughed so hard and thought, I should be writing all of these crazy things down. If you are of the Gringo heritage I hope to shed some light on the unique customs of Mexicans. If you consider yourself Mexican, Mexican/American, or Latino, Enjoy!