On Cinco de Mayo

I have a theory, there aren't any American drinking holidays between New Year's Eve and the Fourth of July. President's day, MLK day and Easter just don't lend themselves to wild college parties. So Americans had to go out and find some. St. Patrick's day seemed a good fit, a chance to drink green beer in March. But it was too long of a stretch between March 17 and July 4. Hum... what to do?... Good thing Mexicans have an obscure holiday in May. Cinco de Mayo fit the criteria perfectly. A holiday that seemed worthy of a party, but not a holiday that anyone knew anything about, much like St. Patricks day. So although most of the people packing the Mexican restaurants tomorrow won't really know what they are celebrating, there is one thing they know for sure, bottoms up!
To set the record straight, Cinco de Mayo is NOT Mexican Independence day and it isn't really celebrated in Mexico. Kids get the day off school, that's about it. No drink specials, no crazy parties, no parades, no fairs, no dance concerts. Cinco de Mayo is the celebration of a battle between a small Mexican army that defeated a larger more powerful french army in their advance toward the capital in 1862. Mexico had just gained Independence from Spain in 1821 after a long struggle. Mexico was in debt and it only got worse during the Yankee Invasion (Mexicans name for the Mexican-American war) and a civil war. After Mexico stopped paying their debt to France, they decided that they would just takeover. France sent an army, the Mexicans defeated them on Cinco de Mayo and Mexico reveled in it's victory for about a year. Then France sent more troops and they eventually lost the war and France occupied Mexico for a few years. Eventually Mexico did oust the French but not on Cinco de Mayo.
Mexican Independence day is September 16. It marks the start of the fight for independence in Mexico. There are fantastic celebrations all over Mexico starting on September 15 as the Grito de Independencia (Cry of Independence) is announced by the president at the Zocalo at 11PM, just as Hidalgo did from the little church in 1810. Followed by the response of the people, VIVA MEXICO!
So, although Cinco de Mayo really isn't that big of a holiday, let's celebrate anyway. Let's celebrate and appreciate everything Mexican. With everything going on surrounding immigration, let's remember and appreciate our neighbors to the south and our neighbors next door. VIVA MEXICO!

On Nicknames

I'm not sure if this is just part of my husband's world or if this really extends to all Mexicans, but I don't really know my husband's friends names. What I do know instead are their nicknames. It seems that everyone has one and some aren't flattering.
Take my husband for example. His real name is Jesus but his nickname is Chuy. How did Chuy come out of Jesus? If you ask him, he will say it's because his name is Jesus Emanuel. If he was Jesus Manuel he would be called Chema. Oh, that cleared it all up! Clear as mud, thanks honey.
There are other common nicknames that don't seem to have any relation to the real name.
Francisco becomes Kiko or Paco or Pancho
Jose becomes Pepe
Rodolfo-Pop0
Ok I guess we have a few of those as well. One might not immediately derive Bill from William or Betsy from Elizabeth if they were learning English as a second language.
But then there are the nicknames based on someones appearance. Close circles of friends might have funny nicknames for each other, but these names are not generally shared and used as the standard.
For example my husband's soccer friend is called El Negro, the black one. I don't even know El Negro's real name. This is how widespread and understood his nickname is. I'm not sure if my husband even knows his real name. When El Negro's family was here the other day, I even heard his wife call him that. Given this countries history and struggle for civil rights, I'm going to guess no one would really venture to call anyone, Hey Blackie! (Just a side note here he's not even black!)
So I've compiled a list (with the help of my husband) of some nicknames you just wouldn't hear used in the White American vernacular.
Nicknames to describe the color of your skin
El Guero- the white one, Whitie
El Negro- the Black one, Blackie
El Moreno- the Brown one, Brownie
Nicknames to describe other features
Tofeo- trompudo y feo, big ugly trumpet (mouth)
Gordita- Little Fat one, (Not to be confused with Gorda- just fat which would be considered insulting)
El Patotas- Big Foot
Cepe- cejas de perro, eyebrows of a dog
el foco de mercado- supermarket lights, because the person had a lot of zits
el bocho- Volkswagen beetle, because the person had big ears
pelon- baldy
Pope- After Popi, because someone had big arms
I've yet to find what is really embarrassing in Mexican culture. Being called El Foco and drawing attention to the fact that someone has really bad acne seems embarrassing to me. But in my experience Mexicans are extremely good at making light of life and light of themselves. My husband will be the first to tell you "Mexican jokes." He loves them, thinks they are hilarious. Instead of getting offended he just laughs. What a great way to go about life, no?

On Spanglish

There are those who would like a language to stay stagnant, frozen in historical time, bound up by rules and grammar. But language is a living organism. It breaths, grows, adapts and changes as it follows the life of it's speakers. Some might argue that Spanish and English should remain separate entities. But if you live in my house you will find that they co-exist quit nicely.
Today I was telling my husband what to get my son out for dinner and I caught (which doesn't usually happen) the crazy sentence that was coming out of my mouth. Los peas, que estan en el frig son good. Really did I just say that?
In my house we speak Spanglish. Generally my husband speaks Spanish and I English, or so at least I think I am. For example, my husband, my mom and I were all on our way to Home Depot the other day. My husband and I were talking about what we needed. When we got into the store my husband went off in his own direction and I turned to my mom and said, "what was it that we needed?"
"You are asking me?" She said.
"Yah, we were just talking about it in car." Still not understanding why she wasn't helping.
"You do realize that whole conversation was in Spanish, right?" she said.
Hum... clearly I didn't!
I love that I have the ability to switch back and forth between languages. I love the looks I get when I answer my phone in the middle of Target in Spanish. I love the options that open up for music, movies and TV because it doesn't matter if it's in English or Spanish. More importantly I love that I have been able to meet so many more people in this world all because I speak another language. There really is something to being bi-lingual.
There are some very fun Spanglish words I thought I would share with you. I hope you enjoy!
Googlear - to google someone
Molear- to go to the mall
Parkeate- to park (this one is so entwined in Border Spanish that I do believe people truely think this is an actually Spanish word)
pusheme- push me
watchale- watch this
un ridete- a ride
esmoking- tux
yonque- junk yard (pronounced like junky)
boiler- water heater
me frekea- I'm freaked out
troca- truck
nerdo- nerd
If I come across any new and good ones I'll be sure to add them. Until them I'll make sure to check that my blog is written in English and I haven't empece a escribir en Espanol.

On Walmart

Against all the fibers of my being I'm going to write about Walmart. I'm not a fan of Walmart for reason I won't get into, but I don't think I could write about becoming Mexican without mentioning the Holy Grail of the Mexican shopping experience.
Ir de compras (shopping) should really be called ir de walmart. There is nothing one can't buy and nowhere one can't find a Super, open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, Walmart. Aside from the obvious allure of cheap Chinese crap, Walmart has done an incredible marketing campaign to lure in Mexican buyers. But this is not what Walmart has actually come to mean to Mexican communities around the United States (and now Mexico as well).
Walmart is the modern day Plaza. Centuries ago when people lived in an age where it wasn't necessary to cross a border to feed your family, towns were built based around the Plaza. In fact houses were build around a central courtyard. These central meeting spaces were community centers. Places to meet people, to "shoot the breeze," to gossip, talk politics, or simply to enjoy the company of others. Mexicans are a relational bunch. Mexicans are also a chatty bunch. So if you put the two together you can understand that Mexicans sit around doing a lot of talking.
When I lived in Mexico I remember sitting around on the driveway (which doubled as a patio) for hours as my host mom would sit with her friends and gab the evening away. I was always bored to pieces but I guess I can thank her now for the unbeatable Spanish language immersion I endured for 3 months straight.
I suppose there are some Americans who like to sit around and talk as well. Sure we all like to catch up with our friends here and there. But on average I would say we are a doing culture. We make plans for lunch, penciled into our crackberries (Blackberries) and sandwiched between 5 other activities for the day. Its rare that we just sit and talk without any agenda. It's even rarer that we show up to a friends house unannounced and sit and talk without any agenda.
So where do chatty relational Mexicans go in communities across the US to meet, chat, and make connections- to the one place that affords them the luxury of being welcoming and open 24 hours a day, Walmart.
My mother-in-law is one such Walmart goer. Being new to Colorado, the first place she learned to drive herself to was Walmart. Even if she doesn't need to go shopping at all you can find her and my sister-in-law hitting up Walmart at 8pm (as long as the Telenovela isn't on). They very rarely come home with multiple shopping bags. Perhaps a token purchase to make sure the trip wasn't "wasted." But it was never about the shopping to begin with. They just need to go to the plaza, to be relational, to meet new people, to feel Mexican again.

On Frijoles

When I first was introduced to beans with eggs for breakfast I thought my husband was smoking something. Beans come in burritos or maybe on a tostada, but beans and eggs? I protested for a while. Eating my eggs with my buttered toast and letting my husband fix his eggs with chorizo and a heaping side of beans all eaten with a tortilla. Eventually, I gave in and ate it for dinner one night. Then poco a poco I began to eat it for lunch. Until I have to admit now I am a full fledged fan of beans and eggs for breakfast.
There is a large Tupperware container always in our refrigerator with frijoles ready to heat and serve. The process in which these beans get into the container is still beyond me. The first time I went shopping for my husband and I, a week after we were married, I came home with (My Mexican friends avert your eyes) store bought tortillas and a can, yes a can, of refried beans. My husband took one look at that can and said "um... NO." I said well you better cook then cause this is as good as it gets from me.
This is my understanding of the long and ardious task of cooking beans. First you pick out all the non beans (ie. rocks) and bad beans from the bag. Then you wash them and soak them. Then you cook them on the stove for what feels like a decade (in a pressure cooker the time is reduced to maybe a year). Then you mash them up and stick them in the frig. There is probably more to it than that, but I've yet to learn the art. My husband makes good beans so why should I ruin a good thing?
I do have one complaint about beans. I HATE the smell of beans cooking and I HATE even more the smell of beans left out on the counter. The bean dishes have to be washed immediately after use.
So I guess you could now call me a frijolero (beaner). I think I'm supposed to take offense to this term but frankly it's true.

On Time

Just what exactly does it mean to be on time? If a wedding invitation states the wedding starts at 4, what time should you be there? If you were born in my family you would be there at 3:45. If you were born into my husband's family you would be there sometime around 5,maybe 6. Being on time is a matter of perspective. I know it can seem like Mexicans are down right rude to some Americans but you must understand that its all in one's priorities. Americans are focused on the future, Mexicans are focused on the present. Americans think it's rude to be late to a meeting with someone but Mexicans think it's rude to leave the person your with too soon. I've been late all my American life. So I've found my Mexican life to suit me perfectly.
So when to arrive for a wedding in Mexico? Everyone (meaning all Mexicans) know that 4 does not actually mean 4. 4 means sometime in the late afternoon/evening. In fact 4:59 is still in the hour of 4.
My husband and I attended his best friends wedding last year in Mexico. The night before we were to be at the rehearsal at 7 pm. Having learned a thing or two in the last few years I knew that didn't actually mean I needed to be at the church at 7. So my sister-in-law and I were shopping when I got a phone call around 7 from my slightly anxious husband asking our whereabouts. (It occurs to me that while I'm becoming Mexican perhaps he's becoming American . Before living in the US, I doubt he would have even noticed the time and that I might actually be late for said time) We'll come back soon I said, knowing full well that we didn't need to be there yet. We got there around 8:45 right as everyone else started to arrive. Perfect timing I thought!
So on to the wedding day. I think the wedding was supposed to start (again according to the invitation) around 4. I wonder if Mexico ran smoother before the invention of invitations? Putting an arbitrary time down on an invitation hasn't changed when things start. I'll have to write an entire post about invitations sometime. There's a lot more than meets the eye (besides the gaudy flowers).
So I arrive with the Bride to the church about 3:45. We quickly whisk her away into a secret room. The groom on the other hand (also early) stays outside greeting guests. The bride sends me into the sanctuary to check on the head count. Back in her secret room she asks, "so who's here?"
"Los Gringos" I say.
We fix her dress, her veil, and take some pictures. She sends me back out to check on things, it's now 4:30. More guests have arrived and some of the grooms family as well. I check in with the groom, take some more pictures (I'm the official photographer too), and head back to the bride's room.
"Who's here?" She asks
"Los Gringos." I tell her.
The flower girls arrive. More primping, pictures, etc. and I'm sent back out to check on the status. It's now nearing 5 pm.
"Mi familia?" the Bride asks.
"Not yet, but the Gringos are here."
"I can't start without my parents" she says, annoyed. "Where are they?"
This might be a good point to interrupt the story to tell you that when the bride's sister got married to a Gringo a few years earlier a similar scenario played out. The groom's entire family and friends were sitting and waiting 15 minutes prior to the start of the stated invitation time, the good Americans that they were. Two to three hours later when the bride's parents still hadn't shown up a friend drove out to the house to see what the problem was. He found her father in his skivies watching TV. The friend quickly ushered the mother and father to get ready and into the car. The wedding finally started several hours after stated invitation time.
So you can see my friends obvious annoyance for her missing parents. Just when we were about to send out the recon team for the missing parents they arrived.

The wedding started. I juggled my multiple duties as photographer, ring bearer (an entire other post will have to be dedicated to weddings), unofficial bride's maid and wedding guest the best I could. I noticed when we processed into the church that half the seats were empty, yet as we processed out it was standing room only. The Mexicans had finally arrived!

On Telenovelas

So I'm pretty sure the Oscars were on last night. But in my house it was the finale of "En el Nombre del Amor."
If you've never seen a Telenovela, change the channel to Telemundo or Univison between the hours of 5-8pm and you are bound to find one. Don't worry if you don't speak Spanish, you don't need to. Just know the basics of a Telenovela and you'll be an aficionado in no time.
Telenovelas literally translated is "a novel of the TV." It is not, I repeat, not a Soap Opera. Soap Operas are on during the day and the same shows have been running since, well... before I was born with the same old (and I really mean old) actors. Telenovelas on the other hand are more like long mini-series. They run an average of 3-4 months, Monday-Friday. The same episode can air up to 3 times a night, at 5, 6 and 7. Just in case you missed it the first two runs you can be sure to catch it at some point that night. (Interestingly, it makes it easy to watch what I want around my house, because the telenovela will be on again the next hour.)
There are 3 main ingredients to any good telenovela;
1. A rich and handsome character
2. The poor, angelic and equally beautiful women who is in love with the rich man
3. and the evil villain who seeks to keep them apart whether out of jealous or a desire to maintain the status quo for 120 episodes
Their are famous telenovela actors and actresses; Pedro Fernandez, Itati Cantoral, Araceli Arambula and Eduardo Yanes. No matter what happens, or how implausible the scenario the series would have to end if one of them were to be killed off. So even if a women falls from the top of a cathedral after being shot, she will live. (This was the case with last nights finale of "En el Nombre del Amor")
Far fetched and overly dramatic themes are the keys to a convincing telenovela and the acting follows suit. Gestures are big, crying is loud and emotions are evident.
The music cannot be forgotten either. Each scene is backed by a dramatic mood setting score. Each telenovela has it's own theme song which shows up over and over again throughout the show, not just at the beginning. The catchy little tunes ("Hasta que el dinero no separe" my husbands sings as I write) gets stuck in your head. A handy little reminder as you go about your day not to forget to watch that night. Although if you do it's not that big of a deal because it will be on again in an hour!
All the drama makes these shows popular the world over. I used to work with refugees from all over the world. I can't tell you the number of times I would go to visit someone and find them watching a telenovela. Russians, Iraqis, Liberians, Afghans, none of whom spoke any Spanish. But it didn't matter. The themes, drama and beautiful people make them universally understandable and popular. Whenever I would mention to any of the refugees that watching a Spanish television program was not going to help their English they would shrug and say "Don't I need to know Spanish in the US as well?" Touche I say!
So although I live in a house of telenovela fans (even my husband, although I'm not sure he will admit it) I have yet to get sucked in. I'll stick to Gray's Anatomy and Bones, there's enough Drama in those for me. I can get all the funny highlights I need from the Soup anyway!
PS. On a side note, Why are Spanish television stations louder than English ones? If you don't believe me start flipping though channels and notice how quickly you want to reach for your volume button when you flip to telemundo. I don't understand, any ideas?